Friday, December 27, 2013

Go Where The Love Is.

I get a tad frustrated at times when people speak about being mistreated by others but then do nothing about it.  If a friend, mate or coworker is treating you in an undesirable way, you have it in your power to put an end to it.  We teach people what they can get away with in all of our relationships.

I hear so many men and women complain about their significant other or the person they are dating at the moment.  I listen to some stories that lead me to think that the persons mate has little to no respect for them at all.  I don't live in a fairytale land and I know no that no relationship is going to be perfect all the time, but I do know that when I truly care for someone, the way I treat them shows it loud and clear.  Although I'd love to be in a relationship, I would rather wait for a suitable person to come along rather than be with someone that doesn't fulfill me emotionally, there is NO point.  A lot of people don't want to be "alone."  I'd take being alone over being with the wrong person any day of the week.  I feel no reason to be in a relationship in which I'm always arguing with a person or feeling like they don't respect or appreciate me as I do them.

I'm going to use myself for an example.  I am a completely loyal, kind hearted, trustworthy woman.  I have the most utter respect for myself and everyone I come into contact with.  I'm caring and nurturing and will be a wonderful wife and mother one day. I go out of my way for people on a daily basis.  I crave a deep loving relationship with someone, not just one that stops at the surface or appears nice from the outside.   Like I said, I have respect for myself, so why would I ever even entertain the thought of dating someone that doesn't have any respect for me?  Why would I even want to date someone that does not see my many qualities or want to invest in me?  I wouldn't, wanna know why?  I wouldn't want to because if someone is too stupid to see me for who I truly am then they are too stupid for me to date.  Spend your time with those who value the person you are.

Whenever I've truly cared for someone, I've handed out second chances like candy on halloween. Life can get in the way and communication can sometimes be completely off. Texting and emails are completely impersonal, calling or meeting is personal.  Keep it personal and you'll most likely have less miscommunication.  Sometimes my responses seem like those of a rancid bitch through a text when in reality I'm just doing 4 things at once.  Things can be misinterpreted so easily when you don't know a person well or even sometimes when you do.  A little effort goes a long way and its never a strenuous effort to take a moment and actually call or spend time together if you are really interested in someone.

I've heard stories from people that beg others to be with them or beat a relationship to death trying to make it work.  Newsflash!  Once you're truly able to communicate your feelings with someone, there shouldn't be so much fighting or a ton of grey areas.  If two people want to be together, little things won't destroy their relationship, they will want their mate happy and they will want them to feel good about being together.

When you're dating someone and they treat you differently than you feel comfortably with, you are best off telling them, unless you are dating a psychic, they may have no clue that there is even anything wrong. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt and give both of you the chance to clear up the situation so that what could have been a great relationship doesn't end over a silly miscommunication.  Yelling is ineffective and unnecessary, talk about it like adults.   On the flip side, some people won't care about how you feel which pretty much means that they don't care much about you either.

Now if you let a situation go on that leaves you feeling badly, you're telling your partner that there's nothing wrong with their behavior towards you, in which case you're then not allowed to get mad at them.  If you do tell them and they disregard your feelings and continue to mistreat you,then you can allow them to continue to do so, or move along without them.  If you stay in a relationship that isn't fulfilling you can only blame yourself.  We all have people that we're crazy about and although it hurts like hell, sometimes the feeling just isn't mutual.  You will never have to beg or force someone to be with you if they want to be with you.

When dating or getting to know someone you should be getting the same treatment you're giving.  Don't completely go out of your way for someone who doesn't give you the time of day, you're playing a losing game if you do.  If someone is skimming the surface with you its usually because they are skimming it with a few others or maybe aren't ready to settle down and put time into building a meaningful relationship with someone.  Not everyone wants a relationship and some people are fine with sexual encounters that mean nothing, sometimes thats just about all they are comfortable with.  Worst case scenario the person you are "seeing" could also already be in a relationship with someone else.  If you encounter someone thats a cheater you may as well just turn around and walk the other way because you've come in contact with a coward.  Real down to earth people with integrity do not cheat, they get out of relationships that aren't right for them.

I'm not going to sit here and get all stereotypical on you because that isn't at all in my nature.  I believe every situation is different and that everyone has different reasons for doing the things they do.  I just want you to open your eyes.  Don't waste yourself and all your many qualities on a man or woman that doesn't see them or want to see them.  The right person for you will never give you continuous excuses, they will instead, give you time, affection, attention and hopefully love.